8 Tips For Having Great Sex After Baby

1.  Wait. Or don’t. It is up to you!
You should follow your care provider’s instructions and wait at least 6 weeks after delivery (both vaginal and cesarean) to ensure you don’t cause any additional trauma to your incision or repairs to your perineum. But other than that, there’s no specific time when you * should * have sex again – it should just be when you feel comfortable enough to try.

2.  Try not to let insecurity get in the way.
Feeling comfortable again means different things for different women. Your lady parts or cesarean incision might be healed; but you might feel self-conscious about your stomach, your breasts, or your spit-up-covered-haven’t-showered-in-days hair. Cut yourself a little slack and own your postpartum body for everything magical it is and has done! If you feel more comfortable dimming the lights, that's always an option as well.

3.  Set the mood.
If you’ve hired one of our overnight postpartum and infant care doulas, you’ve already been getting sleep. If not, you might feel a little frazzled from caring for your baby all day…and all night. Either way, take some time to get in the mood however you like best. Put on some music, light some candles, draw a bath, pour a glass of your favorite wine, or swap neck and shoulder massages with your partner.

4.  Protection.
You just had a baby, and while some couples want babies close together, the first time you have sex after your new baby is probably not the best time to get pregnant again – but it happens! Just because you might not have a regular period yet doesn’t mean you can’t ovulate. If you haven’t talked about birth control with your care provider, it's a good idea to make sure you have a barrier method on hand.

5.  Lube, Lube, Lube...and More Lube.
Hormone changes in your body can make your body’s natural response to arousal happen differently than it has in the past. Using lubrication can help things go smoothly.

6.  Take the advice of Prince – ♫ tonight is the night for making slow love ♫.
Take it slooooow when you have sex the first time post baby. This isn’t the time for a quickie. Give your body a chance to adjust, and try out different positions if you’re uncomfortable.

7.  Don’t set expectations.
Sex the first time after baby might be painless, magical and amazing! On the other hand, it's possible that it might be painful, making it stressful and frustrating. Taking things one step at a time and making sure you’re comfortable is important so you are able to stay relaxed and so sex continues to be fun. Don’t feel discouraged if things don’t go the way you anticipated because…{see number 8}…

8.  Sex isn’t always defined the same.
There are plenty of ways you can be intimate with your partner that do not involve traditional “sex.” If you’re not feeling it, find something you ARE feeling that you can both enjoy and can agree on!

Authored by: Trish Morfitt
Edited by: Kaity Klotzbach

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