“It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s an adage we’ve all heard before, but what does it look like in our modern society?
- Single mothers living or working together, helping each other with childcare and everything else that parenthood encompasses
- Single parent moving in with their parent(s) to have a more stable environment
- Moving into the same neighborhood as family to ensure you'll have backup when needed
- Calling on everyone from family, neighbors, friends, and coworkers for support
- Hiring a professional postpartum doula
Fuller House was recently released on Netflix and follows the story of DJ Tanner as she navigates being a recently widowed single mother. It is clear to viewers that DJ is nervous about what her life will look like when her family all returns to their regular lives, leaving her alone as a single mother of three young boys. While toasting to family at the going away party DJ realizes that in the morning everyone will be gone. She goes on to say, “But we’ll be fine; there are lots of single moms. I can do this. I just want you all to know I love you so much.”
As DJ’s family prepares to leave her youngest son, Tommy, gets an ear infection. When family members offer to help, DJ says, “No, this is my responsibility.” As she rushes off to take care of her baby her father asks if she’s okay. DJ replies, “Yes, I’m fine! Why does everyone keep asking me that? I have to get to Tommy!” As her family stands in the kitchen, they can hear Tommy crying on the monitor and DJ trying to comfort him. This scene was heartbreaking for me; I cried as DJ said “It’s okay Tommy, Mommy’s here. I’m sorry but I’m having a tough day too. It’s just everyone’s leaving and for the first time we’re going to be all on our own. It’s okay, I know. I just don’t know if I can deal with all of this. I just hope I can give you the beautiful life you deserve.”
Family Steps Up
When DJ comes back downstairs she is surprised to find her family and best friend still in the house. When she asks why people haven’t left yet her father, her aunt, and her uncle all say they’re going to stay and help her. Finally, her sister Stephanie steps in to say, “You guys, sit down, we’re going to have a little talk… You guys did your share for us. Now it’s time for me to step up…I am clearing my schedule and I am moving in with my sister…” Looking at DJ she says, “You are entirely too stubborn to ask anyone for help! You do everything for everyone else. You need me right now.” Finally DJ responds and says, “The truth is I have been so scared about how to make this work by myself. I love you guys so much.”
How can I get that?
Not everyone has family and friends that live close enough to step in to help. Even if your family does live close by it doesn’t mean they are in the position to do what Stephanie and Kimmy did for DJ. It is possible you have the fantastic support of family to help out after baby arrives, but that typically only lasts for a short time.
So how can you get the support DJ has? You can hire Northeast Iowa Doulas for all your postpartum care needs! Our professional postpartum doulas can meet every need your family has. We offer anywhere from daytime shifts, overnight care, all the way up to 24-hour live-in care. With each of these services we tailor the work we do to provide support where it is most needed and desired.
When hiring Northeast Iowa Doulas for your overnight care needs, you can be sure that everyone in your house will receive a full night of sleep. This will help ensure you will be well-rested and ready to care for the baby the next day. No more ‘mombies’! Even if you are planning to breastfeed; your postpartum doula will bring baby to you when it’s time to nurse and then take care of baby’s other needs so you can go right back to sleep. Sounds amazing, right?
Cooking, light housework, sibling care, validation in your parenting choices, a full night’s sleep; the possibilities are endless. All of our doulas will provide your family with unbiased, judgment-free support as your family finds its groove. This means we provide 100% unconditional support for all parenting choices. This is your baby and only you and your partner know what's best. Our job is to help you find a parenting style you like and become confident in it.